LYRICS​

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Rope ladder drops. LBJ climbs on.

There’s a farm in the background. LBJ is hanging from

a rope ladder that is swaying around and we hear

the sounds of a helicopter overhead. 

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LBJ

(hanging from a rope ladder- shouting into mic attached to chest)

Make way for the Johnson City Windmill!!

 

BIRD

(Off stage: Calls down from chopper) 

Lyndon watch your kidney stone

That rope is oh so thin

You’ve hit 80 stops today

 

LBJ

Bird, Don’t you wanna win??

Aah! (clutching his flank)

I’ve still got hours in me 

Pass me a cigarette

And take me down 

to that farming town

We haven’t been there yet.

 

PILOT

but sir that’s the one place 

where victory’s well in hand

 

LBJ

There’s people down there dipshit

Let’s get this thing to land

(Through mic to crowd)

I hope you friends will vote for me

And bring along your family

I’m LBJ

And I’m here to say 

That you’re my biggest fans

Now can I shake some hands?!

(Presses the flesh with the people)

 

PILOT

That’s 19 unplanned stops you made

I don’t know how you do it

 

LBJ

Hey look there’s my old friend down there

We’re not just passing through it

(Through mic to crowd)

Huiso, is that you my friend? Get a load of what I did!

I’m running for the senate seat!

Hey, is that your little kid?

 

HUISSO

Meet Lyndon Baines Johnson Gonzales

We named him after  you

You brought us lights and jobs and dollars

showed ‘em all  we matter too

 

LBJ

Look at that! A little boy! 

A little boy named Lyndon

You tell your son I’ve just begun

 

PILOT

Sir…it’s time to catch the wind and -

 

LBJ

I know I know, I’ve got to go, got 28 more drops

Adiós mi Amigo, Huiso

Take her up!   

 

PILOT

This guy just never stops.

 

LBJ

I’m fine - Aaah!